My grandma suffered from psychotic episodes throughout her life. She used to shine bright, red laser lights into peoples eyes from behind her window, having the time of her life and thinking, only for a few minutes, life was just one big game.
She used to open all her windows and doors in the middle of the winter, taking off her clothes and laying completely naked in the fetus position, because she was sure there was some sort of heatwave coming our way.
I only found out about these things after she passed away, as my mom never wanted me to know while she was still alive. She didn’t want me to think of her differently, not knowing that this would actually make me love her even more.
I’ve always been fascinated by the human brain, and would I have known this about her while she was still with us, I would’ve definitely wanted to talk to her about it - finding out what she could remember of those episodes and how she felt about it.
Because I can’t go back in time and talk to her about it, I tried to capture the essence of psychoses in a staged photo series. The ‘empty, disordered, out of reach’ kind of feeling that people seem to talk about.